Dorset Mind have a guest Blog so maybe this could make the grade, if it ain't too strong.
Bah Humbug
Not everyone enjoys Christmas time and it isn't always down to being Bah Humbug. It's even worse when people find out why, they try to give you even more of what you don't want like some Electroshock Therapy.
"Oh, you can't be home alone at Christmas.", yes I bloody well can.
The only Pity Christmas Dinner I had was as a child and I did enjoy that to be honest.
It all goes back to childhood
Most deep rooted things do go back to childhood experiences, whether positive or negative.
I was a few years old, at school then not at school, because it was the Christmas holidays. When I returned at school, for some reason all the kids were over the moon, telling everyone about what they had received and the schoolteacher asked us to write down what joyous things we did.
Oh shit, WTF is this? I'm not a literary creative mind by any means but had to make something up on the spot, just not to be the odd one out. However, I was the odd one out. This was 1970s England in the North East, in a New Town, the son of Hong Kong immigrants.
My joyous time, well us siblings' joyous times, were either getting looked after by Grandmother for the short time she visited, or home alone whilst my parents worked 6 or 7 days a week, and twice a day at that. Different times back then.
In the back of my suppressed mind I recall making up some story about building a snowman or diving through a snow hoop, even drawing in picture. Let't not mention the time I painted a purple Santa and not a red one.
Roll on the next year. Right, I will show them. I got a bit more intelligence on what this Christmas malarky was all about. Paid attention to the relentless TV build up of anticipation and got my socks ready to hang on the mantelpiece.
Come Christmas Day I ventured downstairs very early. As my team knows, to this day I am certainly not an early person. I remember being full of trepidation as I went to the socks and nothing, empty, zilch.
That's not right. What about all my friends talking about Santa? What about the TV presenters, what about all the adverts promising everything?
The kick in the guts was being laughed at by my parents.
OK, you can see the negative side of that but it may have been that day onwards where I built this strong independent side of me. Instead of being an entitled litte oik expecting a hoop and a stick back then, obviously the Dickensian equivalent of Playstation whatever now, my parents shrugged their shoulders and went, yeah - whatever, we moved from Hong Kong for this atmosphere of anti-immigration National Front bollocks, grafting like shit and you want something on a plate.
Christmas Today
Don't get me wrong, I fully understand Christmas for what it is, beyond the pernicious coercive bribery of "Be good or else you won't get the latest iPhone". It is a time to take a break from work, to spend time with family. To make a different effort, to laugh, to feast, and to make others feel good.
For me though, I like the quietest of Christmas days. As a kid, I just left the house and took a day to walk around this Northern backwater town, with my thoughts. It was a time to balance out a personal mental health.
My wife being a nurse, and with us not having kids, that meant it was OK for those staff to play the card, well you don't have kids so can you do the morning shift.
Christmas Day
I don't need any pity. I love Christmas Day in my own way.
It gives me time away from the rigours from work, although being a hosting company in part, means 24*7 is part of your DNA as a business owner, so the responsibility never disappears.
By virtue of the NHS carers not caring that as a childless couple, we might also want to spend the morning waking up together and enjoying the whole day, I made use of that to do what I love best - to cook, to eat and to drink.
I'd print off two menus curated the weeks before and lay out a dining table as if Henry the 8th was coming, what with all the glasses, cutlery and plates.
So, I don't need your invites, as welcome and considerate as they may be. Although I'm not a receiver, I understand and enjoy giving and being a part of others' own celebrations when it dovetails in.
2020 has been a tough year to all and I truly wish you all a happy Christmas from the bottom of my heart.
Watch out for follow on blogs about Why I Hate Birthdays and Why I Hate New Years Eve.
